5 Best Wacky & Hilarious Books for Pet Lovers
Sometimes you just want some mindless entertainment. You don’t feel like reading Oprah’s sermon on living up to your full potential. You don’t want to intellectually grind your way through classics like “War and Peace” or even stimulate your inner floozy with 50 shades of anything. What we’ve found here are 5 hilarious books that are perfect for pet lovers. These are books that make a perfect gift for the crazy cat lady in your life, or just for mindless fun when you’re sitting on the can and you don’t want to read a magazine about what’s in Kate Middleton’s handbag or about absolutely anything to do with anyone named “Kardashian”. These books are wild, they’re hilarious, they’re wacky…if you find something better (we dare ya!), please comment and let us know!
1. I Could Pee on This…and Other Poems by Cats
With titles like “Kneel Before Me” and “Some of My Friends Are Dogs”, this book is for your art house loving, poetry-appreciating, cat-worshiping friends. If you share the type of oddball humour that has you checking out Grumpy Cat’s website every day to read “The Daily Grump) or laughing hysterically out loud at YouTube videos of people falling down on “The Price Is Right”, you will get a laugh out of this ridiculous book. Complete with hilarious pics throughout, this book is cheeky, sarcastic and perfectly tailored to anyone who has ever lived with a cat. If you find yourself nodding and echoing a big “MmmHmmm!!!!” as you turn each and every page, it’s pretty apparent that there’s a bit of a crazy cat person in you too. This book is best enjoyed with a glass of wine, some jazz, and a kitty on your lap who has recently peed. NOTE: This book is even more hilarious when read aloud while drunk.
2. Walter The Farting Dog: Banned From The Beach
Made for kids, but also great for giving adults a laugh, you can’t resist falling in love with Walter. Walter is a dog with a heart of gold who happens to have a huge flatulence problem that always seems to get him in all kinds of trouble! This story is based around a dog who farts so powerfully that he blows Mr. and Mrs. Crabbe’s beach umbrella away. This act of debauchery gets Walter – you guessed it – banned from the beach! How does Walter get out of this debacle? Does he save the day? Of course he does…it’s a kids book for crying in the sink. How does he do it? Read the book to find out. Kid-friendly and funny, yet entertaining enough for the adult with a farty-kinda humour, you’ll find it’s very different from The Pokey Little Puppy.
3. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You
If you read The Oatmeal’s classic “5 Good Reasons To Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth (and Other Useful Guides)” with such wonders as “8 Good Reasons to Keep a Canadian as a Pet” and “7 Reasons to Keep Your Tyrannosaur Off Crack Cocaine”, you know that author Matthew Inman’s warped humour is totally hilarious. This new masterpiece created just for the cat owner will have you in stitches! It explains little things like “how to pet a kitty”, “how to tell if your kitty is a raging homosexual”, “having a baby vs. having a cat”, “how kittens are planning to take over the world” and of course, “how to tell if your cat is trying to kill you”. Witty, laugh-out-loud funny and an all-too-accurate a depiction of the psychology of cats, this is a great coffee table book for any cat owner. NOTE: Not the type of book to read if you enjoy wacky tacky and you live alone with your cat. This will play games with your mind in the form of an instant mindf**k and you’ll never be able to hold eye contact with your kitty ever again…and that, well that would be terrible.
4. Zombie Tits, Astronaut Fish and Other Weird Animals
Written by Australian science blogger Becky Crew, this book is perfect for the animal lover in your life who loves scientific freaky facts and laughing at the audacity of the realities of some species currently living on our planet Earth. You’ll learn about a type of lizard that can shoot poisonous blood from their eyes, and that the loudest animal in the world’s instrument is its own penis. Not for younger folks, but if you’re old enough to go into a peepshow and don’t mind a few f-bombs here and there, you’ll enjoy this book. One of the highlights: TITS. You get to read about TITS…and Zombie TITS at that. NOTE: This book should be purchased simply because it has the word TITS on it and it’s not dirty or perverted.
5. Knitting With Dog Hair: Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You’ll Never Meet
The title itself just kicked us in the tender viddles…priceless! The concept of wearing your dogs shed fur seemed a bit freakish to us, but after checking it out after tons of folks have given it five star reviews, this book is great for the dog owner who loves crafts. In a nutshell, screw shearing the sheep…all the fur you vacuum and sweep up in your house can be transformed into something you can use to make hats, scarves, mittens, sweaters, afghans…you name it. They even show you how to clean and permanently descent the fur so you don’t go out smelling like a wet dog (sexy). Does it sound absolutely bizarre? Definitely. Do we think that it’s so whack-a-doodle that you should add it to your pet book collection? Of course! NOTE: Why are you reading this when you should be making a Flintstone-esque bra out of Pomeranian fur?